Ramblings

I love writing on our blog.
But I stopped.
I wasn't planning on sharing Simeon's leukemia journey on Facebook everyday in September.
But I am.
It's almost the end of September.
Fall is here.
Fall seemed so far away.
Now it's here.
I'll get back to it.
I need to.
I miss reading other blogs.
I'll get back to that.
I'm not sure if I'll add the leukemia posts here.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
Someone not on Facebook may benefit from them.
Maybe I will.
I'm finally not so lonely when the kids all leave for school.
It took a few weeks.
But it happened.
I was told it would.
They were right.
Maybe this will help prepare me for next year when the kids are all gone all day.
I haven't been on my own in over 12 years.
It's been an adjustment.
It's getting easier.
This morning I feel sluggish.
I feel down.
More then I have in a while.
I love fall.
It's winter that's hard for me.
I didn't sleep good last night.
Husband snored.
Too many thoughts.
Thinking about friendships.
Thinking about the past.
Trying to get past hurt feelings.
Trying to understand where I fit.
If I fit.
Sometimes I'm not sure.
I'm sure I do.
Maybe we all don't fit some.
So we push others.
It hurts to get pushed.
I'm tired of getting pushed.
It'd be nice if we all fit together better.
Ramblings.
That's all this is.
Ramblings on a quiet, feeling kind of down morning.

Life lessons at the Gas Station

Today I realized another reason why I love our van-the middle windows roll down so when I pump gas the kids can be watching and learning how it all works!

Corrine, Ammon & Rebecca loved being able to watch and ask questions about pumping the gas. Ammon & Corrine got out and cleaned the windows for me. They ended up dirtier then before-but it's a learning process.

Ammon turned the camera around and got his view of me pumping the gas.

This may have seemed like such a small thing to someone else at the gas station, but to me it was a big thing. I became a mom to raise our children. To teach them about the world, and in turn to be taught about life. This was a way for me to be able to pass on knowledge that I have to them-even if it was just pumping gas into the van.